Love is Not Enough: Bachelorette Season 17, Episode 7

I cannot believe this season went by so quickly! In yet, I feel like not much has happened. It’s been so clear from the beginning that Greg and Katie have a strong connection, and while them sharing the story about their dad’s helps us understand why their connection may be stronger than the ones she has with other men, I feel like we haven’t seen any more of their love story.

Even Katie’s time with Blake leaves a bit to be desired. The editing of their date a few weeks ago let us know that they covered a lot of topics and Blake’s mini one on one with Katie last week showed us his romantic and caring side, but when it comes to a genuine, deep connection, I can’t quite see it for Katie.

We know very little about these men and we know very little about Katie’s relationship with these men. I’m not sure that Katie’s fault, it may just be bad editing. At this point, we knew SO much about Claire/Tayshia’s men and even Matt’s women. So I’m really disappointed that we’re basically at the end and as a viewer I have a lot of confusion and am left wondering ‘how did we get here?’

We start with the men sitting around the resort shocked at how many of them are left. They acknowledge that hometowns are very soon and they all seem a little pressed for more time. Of course Brendan and Mike P. particularly are hoping for a one-on-one date this week.

Blake puts things into perspective by saying “Until you have a one-on-one you are 100 percent behind.” It was a little harsh, but also really good perspective for the guys who hadn’t gotten one-on-one dates and the audience. Even with all the cameras, and what I can only assume is a great deal of interruptions, the time contestants get with the one-on-one simply cannot be recreated during stolen moments at cocktails parties.

One by one the men share that they have questions or concerns they’d like addressed before Katie meets their family. The men having all these questions, and feeling like they don’t have all the answers they need from Katie/their relationships this late in this game says to me that 1) they’re serious about the process (as much as you can be after knowing someone 6ish weeks) and 2) that Katie maybe hasn’t been using her time with these men wisely. At this point, the men left are not ones who were spending time tattling, so if they feel like they haven’t gotten the time they need with her to make big decisions like if they want their family to meet her, or if they’re ready for an engagement, that says to me that the time hasn’t been given. 

One on One with Greg

The date card arrives and it’s for Greg, which annoyed the shit out of me. I hate when the leads do this. I understand that often times they give their favorite contestant an early on date and really want another chance to connect one-on-one before hometowns, but if you’re going to do this, send the men home you don’t plan on giving a one-on-one, otherwise you’re just wasting their time.

The date card says “Let’s see if we can make this work,” and I don’t know if Katie actually comes up with what the card will say, but I assume that they are somewhat telling of her feelings/expectations and to me, this said that she feels insecure in her relationship with Greg. This tracks because she asked him last week how he was feeling and has said a few times that he always looks sad, and he does. He’s also always so monotoned.

Greg and Katie are matching again and Katie has the nerve to show up in a Walmart t-shirt and knock off Vans. This ain’t it sis and just more proof that her outfits have been off all fucking season. Personally, I needed a real understanding of why we were seeing this man on another one-on-one before hometowns. I was really hoping to see Brendan get the date. He’s been around, but we’ve literally seen nothing from him, I was hoping for a dark horse moment.

Katie takes Greg on a makeshift hometown date. She sets up her version of Seattle’s Pike Place Market, they toss a fish, attempt to eat oysters, play some football and do some other Seattle shit that I know nothing about because I’ve never been.

During the night time portion of the date, Greg and Katie share more of how they’re feeling. Greg says he adores her and that he feels like he’s in high school. He talks about how he hasn’t introduced anyone to his mom and has some nerves about that. Katie asks if he’d be ready to introduce her and even though he says yes, his face and body says no.

I know parts of Bachelor Nation have been side-eyeing Greg from the beginning, I am one of them. He was cool at first, but I think the online obsession with him turned me off. Also, he is very basic. What I mean by that is, he’s regular. He’s every white guy from junior high and school that I had a crush on until I started meeting other Black guys who actually liked Black girls. He’s just kind of boring, we don’t know much about him and because there is such an insane amount of noise about how great he is, it makes me think something is actually wrong with him. It’s not often that I agree with Nick Vial, but he got it right when he tweeted this:

Anyway, Greg gets the date rose. I don’t have anything else to say about this date or their relationship, I still think Greg is going to self exit. We’ve gotten to many cues from Katie about it at this point.

Brendan’s Exit

Like many of you, I was truly confused when Brendan got the final rose last week. He seems cute enough and well liked in the house, but I think we’ve literally only seen him talk to Katie once on screen. The decision to keep him was just so confusing, almost as confusing as the decision to put him on the group date this week.

When the date card arrived and Blake read his name, I immediately felt for him. I can only imagine how grueling, demanding and confusing this process is. You’re fighting with a dozen or more guys each week for time, while also trying to get to know the lead and convince yourself that you have the strongest connection. Frankly, it sounds like trash.

After hearing he’s on yet another group date, he goes to Katie’s room for clarity. I am so glad he did this becuase he deserved answers that he probably wouldn’t have gotten on the group date. He tells Katie that he’s there to check in on her and acknowledges that this is her journey. He also says he has emotions and wants to understand what he’s still doing there.

Katie basically cuts him off and says that with hometowns next week, she isn’t sure that a connection could be formed that would be stronger that what she has with other men, which makes total sense, so why not send him home last week with the other four? Katie has been pretty quick to cut men off who weren’t doing it for her and she’s been rather unapologetic about it, I’ve enjoyed that part of her season. She wastes no time. But I can’t help, but feel like she really wasted Brendan’s time.

She sends him home and before leaving he says goodbye to his fellow Canadian, Blake.

Last Group Date of the Season

We truly do not deserves Justin’s facial expressions.

Heading on the last group date for the season is Justin, Andrew, Blake, and Michael A. Before the date the men are sitting at the resort and Blake shares that Brendan got sent home, but that he doesn’t know why. Michael says he’s preparing for anything and everything on this group date, but also feels like he’s running out of time to ask specific questions as it relates to Katie being a mother to his son James.

The men on the date walk into a courtyard with a bunch of paintings on easels. Katie calls it an art exhibit, which is full of flowers that look like vaginas. The men talk around what they see and then they meet the artist behind some of the paintings. Blake awkwardly insults a self portrait of the artist and then we find out that the men are painting their own portraits in which Katie is their muse. I’m expecting Justin to come hard on this date.

The men begin to show their work. First is Michael with a sculpture of an ass. Then we get a very disappointing painting from Justin, the artist. The rose is great but the rest looks like Michael A’s son painted it. Andrew S. paints a picture of himself eating sushi, which is supposed to represent him and Katie being foodies. Lastly, in true Blake fashion, he shares a painting of something we can’t actually see because it is blacked out, but we can assume it is probably something that has to do with sex. The man did sculpt a dick during an art date on Tayshia’s season.

During the night time portion of the date Katie says she’s looking for clarity to differentiate who is ready for that next step in their relationship. First, she grabs time with Blake and says it’s really easy with him. Blake says he’s not in love with her yet, but that it’s inevitable. He asks her to trust him and you can tell she’s a little scared to. This is wild to me because they make so much sense together.

Next, Justin redeems himself by showing a MUCH better painting of a butterfly breaking free from a rose. He credits Katie for helping him be vulnerable and open more than he normally would. They both allude to accomplishing so much in so little time and I’m frustrated by that revelation becuase we literally have not seen anything that would show us they have a solid connection. In fact, of all the men left, I feel like we’ve seen the least from him. Even Mike P. and Katie have had moments to connect that we saw. Justin had an entire one-on-one last week and we learned zero about him. I kind of think Justin is a stand in for Thomas and Katie just wants to fuck him, which I get, he’s fine.

Katie’s time with Michael A. felt way too idealistic to me. Michael kind of asks about her being a mom and handling his grief of losing his wife and Katie’s response fell flat for me. She says if it’s them at the end of this that they’ll figure it out. While that is a really nice and important sentiment, I feel like it glosses over the very real, very important conversations they need to have. This is not the conversation I’d want to have with someone I was falling for and expected to propose to in three weeks. It has this very “love conquers all” vibe and while that’s true, I also genuinely believe it is not enough. Love does not pay the bills, it doesn’t necessarily make it easy to decide where to live, etc. I also think a lot of what the people on this show feel is lust or intense like that has the opportunity to grow into love. It’s not that you can’t fall in love in roughly 8 weeks, but when you’re only getting so much time with a person and only get a few hours to talk about the really hard stuff before getting engaged, it feels unrealistic. I would love to have seen Katie acknowledge that she’ll never replace James’ late mother, Laura and that she’d be entering new territory as a step mom, but is willing to try. What I’m saying is, relationships are work and there are days where you may love your partner and the bonus kid, but you don’t like them. Being honest about that (or at least the possibility of it) would’ve been key to me.

For her final conversation with Andrew S. he puts it all out there and says he’d be willing to be done with football to make their relationship work. Again Katie says they’ll figure it out, while the can do attitude is so important in a relationship, especially a new one (you don’t want newness bogged down by so many how’s and what ifs) there has to be a level of grounding to these convos. Katie, sis, you are trying to get engaged in five seconds, I get there is time to have tough conversations in the fantasy suites, but this “lol we’re just gonna figure it out” attitude feels immature to me. 

Andrew recreates a cute moment from their one-on-one where he writes that he’s falling for her on a card and lifts her up to grab it. As he heads back to where the other guys are, he feels confident that he’ll get the date rose. Unfortunately, he’s wrong. The rose goes to Michael, which surprises me as well. At the beginning of the season, Katie was unsure if she even wanted kids, but each time she gives Michael A. a rose, she’s acknowledging that his son James is part of the picture.

One on One with Mike P.

I have to admit, when I first found out Mike P. was a virgin, I screamed “why is he here!?!?!” at my television. But since then he has grown on me. I like the way he took his narrative of being a virgin into his own hands during the week two date and I like that he makes jokes about it and doesn’t seem too uncomfortable when sex and physical touch comes up.

But of course, he was going to be the one to get the late in the season, forced physical touch date. Usually it’s some sort on tantric sex/yoga/massage thing, but this time they are meeting with a cuddle expert and trying different cuddle positions. There was a lot of awkward laughing, but they honestly didn’t look that uncomfortable to me. Mike did say that on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most uncomfortable, he was feeling a 10, but it seemed like he settled in quickly.

As they begin to test different cuddle positions, Mike says some things that feel like red flags to me. First, he said Katie reminds him of his mom. Listen, I don’t want to remind any nigga that I am dating of his mom because I’m only interested in being a mom to my children, not a grown ass man. Unfortunately, I have dated men who were clearly just looking for a grown woman to nurture and frankly baby them and while I’m not convinced this is what Mike P. is looking for, the comment still turned me off. He also spoke briefly of his decision to wait until marriage to have sex. He said something along the lines of ‘if it were up to me, I’d be humping everything,’ while honest, I thought that was a bit weird because the decision to not have sex is up to him. I wish Katie would have pressed him a bit on that, or that we would’ve gotten more on it. I think often people hear that someone is saving themselves for marriage and they roll their eyes and think its a really outdated practice. But the way Mike explained it early in the season made me respect him and view his choice in a different light, so I would’ve loved to see him speak to that more and understand how he really came to his decision.

Mike also says that physical touch is very important to him and that he and his family gave it to one another often. I think that’s good context becuase again, you hear that a 31-year-old man is a virgin and you assume he can’t kiss, or cuddle, or touch you in all the right spots, but Mike really seems like someone who values connecting with his loved ones and romantic partner via touch.

After the commercial break, we think we’re headed into the night time portion of the date, but we actually get Katie crying and walking towards Mike P., which of course means he’s going home. She explains that even though they were able to connect on a deeper level during the date, her relationships with other men are further along. Again, something like this happens every season and there are very few instances where a first time one-on-one this late in the game can really change how the lead is feeling about their top picks. Why not reserve that last week of dates before hometowns for time with men the lead is pretty sure about? Why not give the lead a chance to go deeper, or to answer some final questions before meeting their family? The constant last ditch effort to get to know someone on a level deep enough to want to be engaged to them three weeks later is unrealistic, even for this show.

Mike understands why he’s being sent home and is sad about it, but wishes her the best. I’m not sure we’ll see Mike on the sand, but surely he got enough followers in this process to find a nice God-fearing woman in his DMs that he can connect with. I hear Madi Prewitt broke up with Michael Porter, maybe that’s an option. 👀

Rose Ceremony + Andrew S. Goodbye

Look at that pensive face, that unintentional smolder, make this man the Bachelor!

There are two roses on the the table as the men head into the rose ceremony and we know one is going to Blake, so it comes down to Justin or Andrew S. Katie said she’s thinking about if she sees herself walking away with the men she’s giving roses to. She says she wants to make the right decision and be confident, but she sounds anything but.

As Katie is talking through her potential decisions with Tayshia and Kaitlyn, I realize she’s a people pleaser and doesn’t like conflict. This narrative of “a good guy” is also weird. Being a good guy doesn’t mean you’re owed a rose, Katie is harping on good guys, but sis two of these men got sexist and colorist tweets up as I type this (note: maybe they’ve been deleted by now, but you get the point). Everyone has a past and every person has been not so nice/good to people who didn’t deserve it. A persons character is very important, but similar to love not being enough, a person being nice ain’t enough either.

To absolutely no ones surprise, Blake gets the first rose of the night. I thought for sure the next one would go to Andrew S., but it goes to Justin. This is bullshit. Not just because I love Andrew S., but because we have not seen her relationship with either Andrew or Justin progress enough to understand this choice. Therefore, her developing love/lust for them doesn’t even fully make sense. 

When Katie walks Andrew out, she says she knew she couldn’t look in his family’s eyes and tell them that she was falling for him when she isn’t. Andrew is holding back tears a bit. Katie hangs her decision on the fact that she’s building stronger connections with other men. She calls Andrew one of a kind and says he deserves to find a great love. Could she be setting him up for a Bachelor redemption arc? I hope so.

Katie collapses as Andrew drives away and I just cannot imagine how she’s going to react when she’s gotta send everyone else home. Katie, girl this is just the beginning!

The next morning, the guys chat about how hard it was to see Katie have to send Andrew home, but also happy that she gets to meet their families. We get Katie in her suite still upset about having to say goodbye to Andrew and questioning the decision she made.

Katie gets a knock at the door and its none other than Andrew S. He says he didn’t want their goodbye to be tear-filled, but more positive. Katie seems genuinely shocked and happy to see him. She reiterates that it was hard to say goodbye to him and that it was the first time she made a decision she wasn’t fully confident in. Andrew understands and they embrace, he leaves a card for her to read when he’s gone.

As soon as he walks away, she opens it. The card reads “If you change your mind, I’ll be waiting :).” Naturally, she goes running after him, trying to catch up with him. She gets no help from the producers as to where he is, to add dramatic affect. When she catches up with him, she runs and jumps to hug him. This made me think that he was staying and Katie even asks him to, but he says no, which I respected. He says  “I want my future wife to choose me and I wasn’t chosen.” This is so important. I think part of lasting relationships are these moments of choice that happen every day, multiple times a day even and if he’s not being chosen this early on, then he should leave. So, good for him for sticking to that. I’m curious about whose idea it was for him to come back, his or a producers? I’m also just really blown that he shed real tears over Katie. I could tell he was into her, but I don’t think I thought he was that into her.

They embrace one last time in front of the car and Katie says she got the closure she didn’t realize she needed from him. She says she wishes their relationship could’ve gotten to the very end, but it just wasn’t meant to be. Lastly, she understands with every goodbye, she’s one step closer to finding her husband. Let’s hope so!

Next week Katie and Greg are kissing in the rain again, Michael says he’s “at war with himself,” and one of Justin’s family members is reminding him that this journey ends in 10 minutes and he’s still lowkey unsure about his feelings. We’re also getting the Men Tell All with what looks like a live studio audience! Very interested in seeing that, and also to see who will be hosting it. Until then, see you next Tuesday. ✌🏾

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