I’ve attempted to write a post for a few weeks lately. So many life lessons, but I haven’t exactly known how to put any of them into words. So excuse this for sounding like word vomit.

Something about my senior friends graduating and not having a job scares me. Yeah, I’ve got a year to make sure that doesn’t happen to me, but if businesses wait as long as they did to get back to me about internships (even thought I got a lot of offers) I’ll be a sitting duck for a lot longer than I want to be. I told myself that come June and especially come August, I’d start really looking/applying for jobs. I think that’s the biggest mistake some of my senior friends have made. Yeah, it’s super easy to get caught up in football season, classes and all the organizations you’re involved in, but eventually all that ends and if you don’t prepare ahead of time, it could be bad news.

Then there’s the lack of a dating life. I guess when I look back on my time in college (and even high school) I never really had a dating life. I think last summer was the closest I’ve gotten and while that was really great, it was also, not so great. I don’t know, my best friend is getting married. She’s 21 and getting married, our conversations have switched to “I hate boys, let’s grab Ben & Jerry’s and cry,” to “There’s nothing like falling in love.” In yet, I still can’t relate to that.

For a while I had gotten out of my mind that there was something wrong with me. I started getting healthy, losing weight for myself and loving my body. I wish I could tell you what changed, I’m not too sure. I do know that I hate working out, it’s not fun, at least not to me.

Anyway, I say all this to say, despite all of the awesome things I have gotten to do, I still feel like something is missing. Some days it feels like maybe an org I could have joined, others it feels like a person. I’ve definitely been praying through it, but I just can’t seem to shake it. It’s weird.

Despite the difficult time, I can’t help, but be a little happy because I feel it signifies change. I know God wouldn’t take me through anything I cannot handle and even though things seem really up in the air right now, I know He’s got my back.

Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight. 

-Proverbs 3: 5-6

Be blessed you all!


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